Ahhhh, Vacation!

Yes, we are getting ready to venture out on our first family vacation that requires us to take Maddie on an airplane. I think that she will do much better than I will, as I hate to fly. I used to be so adventurous, going on rides at Six Flags and flew to several countries before graduating from college. But my biggest fear in flying is the pain I might feel in dying - mainly dying too young. But my biggest comfort is that at least we will all be together. I just hope that they allow dvd players on the flight to keep little Maddie content. And I also hope that we make it back here safely. :)

Hopeful Mommy

The last couple of weeks I've been rethinking my parenting style and approach. I've visited some different websites and even ordered some books I think might give me some more insight in raising this beautiful child. But why have I been so down about it? My husband reminded me that there is "no formula" for parenting and that each stage our daughter enters requires us to relook at our approach and make some adjustments. For example...Madeline has always gone to bed and has cried much. We attributed it to her sanguine personality of not wanting to miss any of the activity taking place while she was having to go to sleep. But in the last week, we bought her a "big girl bed" and she has been so proud to sleep in it. However, it was still new and part of her was not completely certain about this new arrangement. My husband laid next to her the first night to help her feel more at ease. Can you believe that for the last week we have laid with her until she falls asleep and she isn't waking up in the middle of the night any more? She goes to sleep much happier and seems to sleep more deeply and peacefully. I think that we've been experiencing much transition in our parenting - probably as much as our little toddler is experiencing in her life from a baby to a little girl with definite opinions. It's often hard to go through change, but I feel encouraged that we've been doing the best we can at each stop and transition. It doesn't mean we aren't making mistakes -but that we are really trying to meet our child where she is and find a balance with how we feel comfortable parenting her. Even though we're far from perfect, I know that we're giving her everything we have.

Baby's Day Out - Book Review

This is by far one of my most favorite books ever! "Baby's Day Out in Southern California" by JoBea Holt is a thorough list of the various activities this large city offers for mothers to do with their toddlers. There is detailed information, including whether there is stroller access, dining, picnic areas, parking, and even directions to the site. I have used this book frequently in planning little outings with my daughter, and I have barely scratched the surface of all the wonderful things to see and do in this huge city.

Gentle Mothering

I'm in the midst of trying to figure out the best way to handle my almost-two-year-old's tantrums and other exercises of the will. Upon looking for something else, I stumbled upon this website http://www.gentlemothering.com ... While some of their articles disagree with some of the principles taught by the Ezzo's, I found them to be insightful and informative. I'm going to be spending more time exploring the site, as I found some of the articles helpful. Has anyone ever heard of "gentle mothering" and/or "grace parenting?" It's very interesting, but I've never heard of it before.

"On Becoming Babywise" - Book Review

I read this book several weeks before I gave birth and continued skimming it after my daughter was born. Although there were things I didn't necessarily agree with or find useful in my brand new experience as a parent, here is what I did find helpful:

1. Establish a weekly date night with your spouse, so that you stay connected. My husband and I had never been consistent in going on a "date night" until after our daughter was born. She is almost two and we have rarely missed that time together. It's a blessing to have uninterrupted time together, to reflect, discuss important and just plain fun topics, and to be creative in where we spend our short time together (ie., Barnes & Noble, Starbuck's, Dinner out, Movies, a garden center, etc.). They don't sound all that exciting, but just getting out together is the most meaningful aspect of our time together.

2. Establish a routine, but learn to be flexible. This is something that was difficult at first because I didn't know how to have a routine and I felt that I was being too rigid - which I was, at first - but in time I was able to learn more about my daughter's time clock and work around it. Putting her on the sleep and feeding routine was helpful in allowing me to learn how to have down-time for myself, and to plan our outings better. However as she grows older, I find that the routine is a nice guideline that gives me cues about her moods, needs and behaviors.

This is what I found most helpful from this first book. There are some statements and practices that contradict my personality and parenting style, but I still found these two practices to be extremely helpful in my parenting style.

Any feedback on this particular book is welcome - positive and negative - just curious to know what your thoughts are.

Disclaimer about Book List

As a first time mother, I was very confused in reading about some of the parenting concepts out there. There have been many methods and ideologies that I have chosen not to follow, simply because I can't ignore my parental instinct in raising my unique, God-given child. And although I may disagree with the exact methods suggested by various authors, I do agree with some of their long term principles of using every opportunity to connect with my daughter in order to impact and shape her little heart and mind.

In the next several days, I will post reviews about the books I read and the bits and pieces I found to be helpful in raising little Madeline. But what has worked for me may not be the road you have taken...and that's okay. There is a great need for every mother to be affirmed and encouraged in finding her own way to raise her child/children, knowing that there is not ONE exact way, but that we are allowed to have an eclectic approach.

I believe we can all rest in the fact that we're doing the best we can, with the love and instincts God gave us to raise the little gifts He graciously blessed us with.

Please share your thoughts...

AVON Breast Cancer Walk

Great Grandma Ruby with baby Madeline 
On September 17-18, 2005, my mom and aunt will be participating in the AVON Breast Cancer walk, in loving memory of Grandma Ruby, who passed away last year just 2 days after turning 66. She battled many physical ailments during her short lifetime, but last year at this time we watched her fight breast cancer until it was time to go home with the Lord. It was a difficult thing to watch, a woman so strong and independent her entire life, lying helplessly on her bed, but still using her will not to give up. Although I miss her terribly and think of her more often than not, I believe God gave her a gracious passing from here to eternity. Her body and face showed no signs of pain and we all sat around her, singing hymns and praying for God's mercy.

She was a truly purposeful parent and grandparent. She spent countless hours with me singing songs, playing games (that she made-up, by the way), memorizing Scripture verses, and teaching me about everyday life.

In loving memory - more than a blog can even begin to describe - I miss you, Grandma!

my little sunshine!