things that make me smile

Hearing Madeline and Grant asking for me to check on them before they go to sleep.

Taking walks with Evan strapped to my back, while pushing the other two in the double stroller, memorizing Psalm 23 together.

Praying and singing "The Lord Is Good To Me" together as a family before every meal.

Having Grant follow me around asking me to read him a book.

Having Madeline ask me to do more homeschooling with her.

Hearing Madeline and Grant play outside together on the trampoline.

Watching Grant pick out his favorite dinosaurs and animal toys to sleep with at night.

Checking on each child before going to bed, covering them up and watching them sleep.

Going to the park and watching Grant proudly climb up the structure by himself and then go down the slide, followed with a smile when I congratulate him - over and over and over again.

Listening to Madeline practice her piano songs.

Tickling Evan and hearing those sweet giggles.

Having a husband that is more than willing to give me free time.

Eating apples and playing soccer together outside.

Watching My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music together.

Having Madeline tell me that I'm the "beautifulest" even though my "clothes are not beautiful."

Madeline asking to have special time with me.

Grant asking me for "luvies."

Evan snuggling himself into my neck while rocking him to sleep.

Having a husband that encourages me to be intentional with the time I spend with my children, so that I get the most out of being a mom and who doesn't condemn me for making mistakes.

Happy 1st Birthday, Evan!

A year ago today, I had the best delivery of my life. I finally decided to get the epidural and realized that it was perfect for me in bringing you into the world. We were so exhausted from the sickness that invaded our family just a few days before you arrived, and being able to nap and rest before you entered the world was just wonderful. I loved you from the moment I knew you existed. I loved you even more when I saw your sweet face and examined each little part of your body. The timing of your arrival couldn't have been more perfect.

You have been a snuggler from the beginning, always wanting to be held close. You still want me to hold and rock you until you fall asleep at night. In fact, you'll change your head positions from my one shoulder to the other, just to sneak a peek at me to make sure that I'm still there.

Having you has added such joy to our lives. You have such a love for life, such an enthusiasm for going out and exploring the world around you. We sometimes frustrate you because we don't keep up with your desire to move on to new things quickly! You are constantly keeping up with your big brother and big sister, never allowing your younger age or your crawling speed to keep you far behind them. You are always watching, always following their lead, always proving that you don't need special treatment - you're definitely able to hold your own.

You make me smile when you throw balls (or anything else you can get your hands on, like joe's o's and other food), clap your hands and saying "Yaaayyy!", dance when you hear any kind of music, play pillow fight with Daddy and your siblings, fall down on me when I say "body-slam!", kiss me with your sweet little mouth open, wave hello and good-bye, twist your body in unusual positions when I have to change your diaper, sit proudly in your booster seat at the table (no more high chair for you, big one-year-old!)...

We do have to keep an eye on you since you enjoy crawling up to Grant and purposefully antagonizing him. Guessing it must be a boy-thing. He does everything he can to hold back his anger, but sometimes he just hits, smacks, punches or body slams you. Crying as loud as you can is the way you try to get some sympathy, but it doesn't really work anymore, now that we know your game. :)

You want to be part of every single activity that goes on in our life. Our lives would not be the same without you. Thank you for the way you warm my heart every single day with that sweet smile (even when you wake up singing at 5:30am...aaaaahhh!).

Happy Birthday, my sweet baby boy!

holiday stroll

We enjoy walking downtown among family and friends, enjoying the Christmas music, lights, festive decorations and yummy treats. I was reminded that we just start celebrating Christmas way too early, when Madeline climbed off of Santa's lap, smiled and said, Happy Thanksgiving! At least it made for a good laugh!

getting ready for Evan's party

We planted some new flowers for Evan's birthday/dedication party!

a little on the mend...

Kids are still sick...Grant woke up at 5:15am with dirty pants and an upset tummy...again. Madeline woke up screaming because she had boogies running down her face! Evan woke up happily at 6:30am...happy to be drinking his bottle, happy to have breakfast, happy to roam around looking for furniture to climb on and fall off of. Yes, he has a rather large scab on his face from a tumble he took the other day. In fact, he frightened us when we found that he had climbed the fort outside all by himself and climbed back out, landing on his feet. We were amazed, but still worried about just how active this little monkey is.

Good times.

my silly boy

I kept putting this Elmo basket on Evan's head. He kept taking it off. I was trying to get a really great picture, but he's just too fast!

still sick today, but...

getting better, slowly but surely. We spent the morning together outside, playing and reading our Bibles together, and they also enjoyed some trampoline time. I think we're finally heading toward health again.

more sickness

Yesterday: Grant was on the pot all day...at least we're potty training now!
Today: both ends...fun.
Yesterday: Maddie had laryngitis.
Today: Maddie has a fever and sore throat.
Today: Evan crawled out of his high chair 3 times while I was cooking breakfast.
Today: Auntie came over and helped...that was nice.
Today: I'm tired.

never ending sickness

Three weeks ago: boys had ear infections - both boys in both ears
Three weeks ago: Maddie had a cough that kept her up at night (and the rest of us)
One week ago: Evan has diarrhea that lasts for a week
Yesterday: Evan feels better
Yesterday: Grant has diarrhea
Today: Grant vomits and has diarrhea
Tomorrow: Too tired to think about what will happen tomorrow...just going to sleep on it.

Goodbye, Aunt Grace...

I will always remember your sweet southern drawl that made me love you the instant we met. I know that you went peacefully while sleeping, but my heart still grieves for the emptiness of your lovely presence. I can't even believe that we were in your backyard visiting just a few short weeks ago. You were reminiscing about when you were a young mother, as you watched Kate and I manage our little ones. Thank you for your sweet hugs and kisses every time we met. Thank you for embracing me as though we had been related our whole lives. Throughout your 95 years, I'm sure you blessed and touched just about every single soul you met. Thank you for the wonderful mark you have left on my life. Goodbye is only temporary...you are finally at home with our Lord. We will meet again someday.

happy birthday

Casey and Grandpa Kirk!

dress up time with mommy

Today, Madeline cried and said she needs more time with me. Hmmm....We're together from the minute we wake up until bedtime. So what was she really asking me for?

Special time.

She admitted that she needed to just have some special girl time with me...every day. Sounds easy, but doesn't always work out with two little boys also pulling on my legs and crying when they need special time.

She and I came up with a plan. Since she is the oldest, she should be able to stay up a little later than the boys. So we will use that little bit of extra time to do something special.

Tonight we dressed up. She was Snow White, and I went through my closet looking for something that would seem dashing to her. I found a beautiful dress - beautiful enough to make her say Wow, Mom! You are so beautiful! and so I also received a matching blue wand to go with my dress.

We turned all the lights off and walked around with our glowing wands and called each other darling and then took pictures of each other with her digital camera. She giggled so much, surprised at how much fun we were having. She loved putting me in different poses and then taking my picture. She'd take the pictures and then say, Cute! Cute!

Before ending, she insisted we put our jammies on and take one more picture together, making the evening complete in her mind.



Girls need girl time. Special girl time.

A Roman Holiday Baby Shower

One of my oldest and dearest friends is having her first baby. I have never gone to such a fun baby shower! The theme named above included having all the guests dress up 50's - Audrey Hepburn Style. The food was delicious - we were able to make our own italian sodas and they even had a craft table for us to make flower corsages made of felt wool. I met some wonderful ladies and enjoyed sitting next to such a lovely friend.

Thank you for including me in such an exciting time in your life.

sleep over time!

Makayla came back for some more girl time - woohoo! Maddie was practically jumping out of her skin just waiting for her to arrive! And of course the screams of excitement kicked off our time together, as Madeline ran to greet Makayla outside and welcome her inside. They embraced and quickly ran outside to have some trampoline time, followed by Grant and his toy dinosaurs. They then moved on to dress up clothes - Princess Madeline and Makayla - and insisted on being called by their stage names. We then had some drama, followed by some hurt feelings and tears, but quickly made up with hugs and giggles again. We watched the new Tinkerbell Movie (actually, the girls played and Grant watched the Tink movie - he found it fascinating!). We enjoyed mac n cheese for dinner and then moved on to Madeline accompanying Makayla on the piano while singing some lovely songs.

We did some silly playing, and then it was already time to get ready for bed. The girls moved the air bed close to Madeline's bed so they could sleep close together.


They insisted on having their hair braided the same way...


...and then wanted to show me how the could hug and fall down on the bed together, laughing so hard they could hardly catch their breath.






I read them the Fancy Nancy books and told them that it was almost the stroke of midnight and they needed their sleep! They couldn't wait for morning and woke up with just as much enthusiasm. They were so exhausted by the time Makayla had to go home, but Madeline asked when she gets to sleep at Makayla's house - with Mommy too, of course! Sometimes when I look at these two girls together, I imagine that Teseena and I would have been very similar together and it makes me smile that Madeline has found a forever friend just like I have!

madeline's request

Madeline: Mom, I keep praying that Jesus will put a baby in your tummy so I can have a sister.

Me: Well, Jesus might put a baby in my tummy and it might be a girl, but it might also be a boy and then you would have THREE brothers!

Madeline's shocked response: Oh.

ER

Nathan hates going to the emergency room. His feeling is that we're going to sit for 2 hours, and pay $50 just to hear what we already know: they're sick and they'll be fine. I try to save the ER for the scary things, but sometimes as a mommmy, everything can be scary.

Evan has had diarrhea (and no other symptoms) for 3 days now. He's had no appetite, his little bottom is sore and raw, he only wants to be held, he cried off/on for 4 hours in the middle of the night and only settled down when he fell asleep on my chest. He hasn't been himself, to say the least.

So when he felt cooler than usual, was acting delirious and had some of the signs of dehydration, I decided to call the pediatrician, who then expressed her concern and suggested I go to the ER. Nathan and the kids were sound asleep. Nathan doesn't even remember that I woke him up to tell him I was leaving. Never knew I left or came back.

We walked in to the ER and of course, Evan became chatty and lively all of a sudden. Yes, I am a paranoid mother who just likes to go to the ER in the middle of the night, is what I wanted to say out loud. But they took us in immediately and found that his temperature was low. A little too low. They gave me a very warm blanket to wrap him in for 45 minutes. Then we would know if he would need to be hooked up to IVs and get blood work.

As scary as it could have been, I prayed that the Lord would take care of my baby boy. Then I walked and talked with Evan for the next 45 minutes to get him warmed up. And it was an unusually slow night at the ER, so we had about seven staff members talking to us and trying to engage Evan. They loved him.

They took his temperature again and it went back to normal. They sent me home saying that he had an allergic reaction to his antibiotic and that I needed to make sure to bundle him before putting him to bed.

It's always a potentially scary situation when your child is sick. There's always the possibility that it can be something major. I'm prepared for something like that; it comes with the territory. There's also something very powerful about just holding your child in your arms, no matter what the situation you've faced or are about to face.

I know that the Lord was holding me as I held my child in my arms last night.

wait uh me!

These are the little words I hear behind me, along with little feet shuffling to keep up with me. My Grant attempting to keep up with me wherever I go. And now his new thing is to come up to me and yell as loud as he can, laugh and then say, You 'care me! If I even hesitate to understand what he says to me, he gets so angry and frustrated because he knows exactly what he's saying! Thankfully, Madeline is my interpreter sometimes and so she jumped right in to inform me, He wants you to scare him now! Okay, I get it now...we're playing a game! I was wondering what possessed him to come up and scream at me and then belly laugh out loud!

Gotta love boys!!

mommy mistakes

These are the hardest ones to make.

You see in their eyes that you've hurt their feelings. You know in your heart that you could have said it nicer or could have been more gentle and compassionate. The best words I hear after those kinds of moments are, I forgive you, Mommy. In fact, I had to apologize yesterday for something and I was still feeling guilty about it today. So I asked her nonchalantly, I forgot, did you forgive me yesterday? And she immediately came back with, Yes, I already forgave you! And her tone matched her words. Thank God for grace and forgiveness.

voted today

...with Madeline by my side...