Potty Training - Not so Yippee...

I guess it's true that pride comes before the fall. Madeline has decided that she's not so sure that she wants to go wee-wee on the potty. She even had a small accident in her new big-girl underwear and just kept playing without any fuss. That girl knows how to call my bluff. All that I've read about the topic has indicated that potty training is right when the child has decided it's right for herself. So that's how we're going to approach it. It would be so nice if Madeline would just point to her big girl underwear and say, "Mommy, I want to be potty trained now...no more diapers for this big girl." But then, if she could articulate that well, she'd probably be saying other things I wouldn't be quite ready to hear. I just love her approach to the situation...she has actually turned the tables on me. I keep explaining that when she feels like potty is going to come out to tell me so that we can sit on the big-girl potty. So last night after several attempts to get her to fall asleep she says, "Mommy! Potty!" So I dash into her room, pull her off the bed and run into the bathroom, frantically take off her pull-up and plop her on the potty - "Whew!" I thought, "We just made it." So we sat and sat and sat and finally I asked her, "Do you have to go wee-wee?" She looked at me with bright eyes, smiled and said, "No wee-wee." I felt like a big fat lollipop at that moment, but I didn't want to discourage her from initiating going on the potty in the future. So I continue to learn that although I think I have some of these parenting ventures all figured out - I really don't and only time along with a little experience will help us along. But Madeline sure has me all figured out!

Missing Grandma Ruby

I can't believe that last year at this time we were all preparing for Grandma to live with Auntie. Little did we know that she would only have weeks left. I've been thinking about her a lot lately and couldn't stop journaling about her the other night. I miss so much about her, even her sassiness. She would have gotten a kick out of how much Madeline has grown up since last year. I wish she was still alive so that I could tell her how much I love and miss her in my life.

Potty Training - Yippee!

We have just ventured out in our first day of potty training. Madeline has gone on the "big girl potty" twice today, without any accidents so far. I've been browsing through a few books on the subject and am finding that the most important thing is to find out what is appealing for Madeline to work for and use that as the motivator for getting the desired response. We have been eating lots of salty foods, drinking lots of liquids and rewarding with her favorite goodies. So far, so good. I hope tomorrow is just as promising. Wahoo! - Maddie is on her way to big girl underwear!!

Contentment Now

So many times I find myself anticipitating what the next stage will hold for me in my life, especially in my wife and mother roles. But Nathan reminds me to enjoy the exact moment I am in right now, to soak in every aspect of my life at this present time because it passes so quickly and without return. I enjoy looking forward, but I do try to remind myself that this is a time in my life that will never be again and I never want to forget any of it.

Daddy-Daughter Time

My husband coined this phrase soon after Madeline was born - his very own special time with her. In the beginning of her life, this time would consist of him giving her a bath, taking her for a walk, and even holding her close and talking to her while doing various chores. For someone who grew up with only brothers, Nathan has much insight and a deep love for our little girl. I admire the way he addresses her with calmness and respect, and hearing them laugh together is one of the most beautiful sounds I hear during my busy day. Yesterday he took her to the Huntington Library and did things that I've never even thought of doing. He lit up as he reminded her to share with me about taking her shoes off and letting the fish "bite her toes." Her little eyes were proud and excited of her adventures with Daddy.

Daddy-daughter time...priceless!

Extreme Parenting

I am so sick and tired of hearing about extreme ideas in parenting. The trend today seems to embrace extremism, where parents cling to one idea or another on the pendulum that completely engulfs all of their decision making and ideas about parenting. What ever happened to critical thinking? It seems that people read books for the sake of having someone else think for them and their parenting, which creates these crusaders who are more obsessed with the fact that their parenting style is the "right way" instead of looking at their children and saying, "What is most beneficial to my child?"

I'm also tired of reading other Christians' blogs completely bash and tear down the Ezzo's. Yes, some of their ideas are extreme and totally unrealistic in practice. But who are these to believe themselves the "judge" and actually refer to themselves as "Anti-Ezzo." It's sad and sickening, and paints a sorry picture of judgmentalism and a lack of grace to the secular world.

What ever happened to reading parenting material for the sake of creating an eclectic approach to parenting? Why is it that a person has to agree with everything written by a certain author? We should be using our critical thinking and reasoning skills when picking up any book regarding our relationship with our children. Most of the books I've read present some valid points, and the points I don't agree with, I skim over and ignore. It's come to the point where parenting styles are not open for discussion - it's the new "politics" - we don't talk about it for fear of conflict and more importantly, for fear of being attacked by an extremist.

Focus should be on what is best for my child. My child is a unique individual who has benefited from an array of different approaches and interventions. I do not subscribe to a particular parenting style because my child changes with every stage she enters. I can't remain affixed on one style of parenting just because it feels safe to me...that's not parenting, that's cowardice and ignorance. If I want to remain close and connected to my daughter, I have to meet her where she is and not just cling to a particular idea of parenting just because that's a group I want to identify with.

my best job in the world - being your mommy! 

the Kirk family reunion - a wonderful time in Maui together 

Our boat trip to Molokini...one big happy family (including Jered & Heather)! 

my handsome husband 

Maddie kept us entertained by teaching this mimicking bird every word she knows! 

four generations of Kirk love... 

Maddie and her favorite roomie Christi -- they enjoy lots of lovies together. 

Maddie kisses her great-grandpa Kirk - she couldn't stop making him laugh! 

Cheeeeeese!! 

The Maui Bunch ... say cheese! 

Here we are enjoying a wonderful sunset in Maui...it's hard coming back to reality, but it was a fabulous vacation! 

Ahhhh, Vacation!

Yes, we are getting ready to venture out on our first family vacation that requires us to take Maddie on an airplane. I think that she will do much better than I will, as I hate to fly. I used to be so adventurous, going on rides at Six Flags and flew to several countries before graduating from college. But my biggest fear in flying is the pain I might feel in dying - mainly dying too young. But my biggest comfort is that at least we will all be together. I just hope that they allow dvd players on the flight to keep little Maddie content. And I also hope that we make it back here safely. :)

Hopeful Mommy

The last couple of weeks I've been rethinking my parenting style and approach. I've visited some different websites and even ordered some books I think might give me some more insight in raising this beautiful child. But why have I been so down about it? My husband reminded me that there is "no formula" for parenting and that each stage our daughter enters requires us to relook at our approach and make some adjustments. For example...Madeline has always gone to bed and has cried much. We attributed it to her sanguine personality of not wanting to miss any of the activity taking place while she was having to go to sleep. But in the last week, we bought her a "big girl bed" and she has been so proud to sleep in it. However, it was still new and part of her was not completely certain about this new arrangement. My husband laid next to her the first night to help her feel more at ease. Can you believe that for the last week we have laid with her until she falls asleep and she isn't waking up in the middle of the night any more? She goes to sleep much happier and seems to sleep more deeply and peacefully. I think that we've been experiencing much transition in our parenting - probably as much as our little toddler is experiencing in her life from a baby to a little girl with definite opinions. It's often hard to go through change, but I feel encouraged that we've been doing the best we can at each stop and transition. It doesn't mean we aren't making mistakes -but that we are really trying to meet our child where she is and find a balance with how we feel comfortable parenting her. Even though we're far from perfect, I know that we're giving her everything we have.

Baby's Day Out - Book Review

This is by far one of my most favorite books ever! "Baby's Day Out in Southern California" by JoBea Holt is a thorough list of the various activities this large city offers for mothers to do with their toddlers. There is detailed information, including whether there is stroller access, dining, picnic areas, parking, and even directions to the site. I have used this book frequently in planning little outings with my daughter, and I have barely scratched the surface of all the wonderful things to see and do in this huge city.