photo shoot

After making a big fuss about Grant's new big boy bed, Madeline asked Are you going to take pictures of me now?

Yes...because we haven't yet captured your cuteness in your new sleeping beauty nightgown ready to read your latest Disney princess magazine before bed.

mama, wook...big boy bed!!!

The words that stopped me in my tracks tonight. Grant took me by the hand to follow him into his room. My baby is growing up.

Nathan converted his crib into a toddler bed while we were out playing this afternoon. He could hardly contain himself, jumping up and down on the mattress and then gathered his animal friends to share in the excitement with him.

I remember when we first put him in his crib, when he was just a day old. He was so tiny, yet we could hear him snoring so we always knew he was breathing!

We were so proud of him tonight. He cried when he realized he actually had to lie down and sleep, but let me snuggle close to him to ease his anxiety. Madeline told me Give him luvies so he'll feel better.






















The hardest part of moving to a bigger bed must be in the fact that you have the freedom to get up, but knowing mom and dad haven't allowed you that freedom necessarily. He respected the boundary quite well. We wanted to give him the chance to make his own choice without installing a small gate in his doorway, assuming he was going to disobey. I'm glad we gave him the choice. And I'm proud of his ability to respect our limits.

crawling already

Yup...my big baby boy is crawling. What he doesn't realize is how this is going to change my life. No longer able to just sit him down in one place with a bunch of toys to play with, I'm going to have to keep one eye on him while running around the house with the other two.

He has no idea how much fun his life is going to be from now on! :)

sunday in the park

We went to Clover Park in Santa Monica today with Uncle Robert. It was a gazillion degrees outside (even for breezy Santa Monica), but fun to take the kids to a park I enjoyed as a youngster. The park sits next to Santa Monica Airport, which thrilled Grant more than he could express.Mama - helicopter! Airpwaine! White Airpwaine!

first communion

We went to church with Nana and Poppy this morning. Madeline asked if she could stay with me in the adult service. Sure...just remember that this is not a talking time but a quiet, listening time.

Okay, Mom.

I didn't realize that it was going to be a time for communion. Madeline asked me what was going on. I explained that only people who have Jesus in their heart and are willing to ask forgiveness for their sins are able to take communion. Does Jesus live in your heart? I asked her and watched her little head nod up and down.

Do you have any sins you want to ask Jesus to forgive? I pursued.

She quickly shook her head no. Okay, well if you think of any, just let me know. I started to bow my head to pray. I feel a tap on my arm.

I need to ask Jesus to forgive me for my bad choices, she said, cupping her hand around her mouth in order to whisper quietly into my ear.

So we prayed together, asking Jesus to forgive both of us for the sins we have committed and to help us to be like Him.

We received the elements of communion, and as we finished drinking the juice, she looked up at me and asked, Is this blood?

I'm so glad she whispered. I smiled at her and reassured her it was only juice.

What a privilege to share in this holy tradition with my firstborn child.
What a privilege to lead her to our loving Savior for forgiveness and hope.

venice beach

We went to Venice Beach with Nana today.

Warm sunshine.
Sand crabs.
Grant & Nana exploring together.
Yummy apple.
Sail boats everywhere.
New beach friend for Madeline.
Drawing pictures in the sand.
Evan's pirate pose.
Sweet memories.

vacation

We ventured out and decided to take the kids up to San Luis Obispo for a few days. Our original plan was to just stay at the Apple Farm Inn, let the kids play at the pool, nap and then return to the pool again, along with a few short walks here and there.

Aren't we funny? We had it all worked out.

But every morning the weather was cold and overcast, nixing our plan to swim in the morning. Which caused us to be spontaneous and it worked out wonderfully.

On the first leg of our 4-hour drive up, we stopped in Summerland at a park so the kids could stretch, play and eat lunch. We made it up to the Apple Farm just in time for their daily "reception" where they put out yummy baked goods with cold apple cider for the kids and wonderful wine for Mommy! :) Then we played in the pool and pooped out for the night.

The next morning was cold and even a bit drizzly...so we drove the kids to Morro Bay and picnicked at a local park, took a ride on the Trolley, walked around the bay shops, visited a seal and then headed back for "reception" and pool time again.

The third day was a little warmer. We met up with my cousin Rebecca and her newborn son Braden at a local park. After the kids got all their wiggles and giggles out, we headed north to a little stop just past Hearst Castle where there are TONS of elephant seals. They are not the most beautiful creatures, but they are large, loud and interesting to watch. Grant cried when we left. He wasn't finished yet. We drove back for our reception and pool time routines. Nathan even let us order a movie The Pirates Who Do Nothing to help the kids zone out and fall asleep. It worked well.

By the way, every evening at 7pm the Apple Farm staff bring out freshly baked cookies. We lived for 7pm.

The last day we packed up and headed home, deciding to stop at the Santa Barbara Zoo to break up the drive. What a wonderful place for children. We even rode the train for a tour of the zoo...the kids loved it. Evan cried when we got off the train.

As we finished the last leg of our trip, we decided to eat dinner at the Spaghetti Factory in Duarte. Evan ate bread, pasta, mizithra cheese and yes, even a little bit of ice cream. Yes I know it's not good for him, but he is the baby of the family and he loved it!

We're home and ready to pack up once more for another trip.

Family trips are fun...not relaxing...but who wants relaxing when you get to just play and giggle and enjoy your little ones without any interruptions?

8 months old

already eager to embrace life

it's potty time...round 2!

Yes, we've begun the trek to train Grant how to go potty...doesn't that sound funny? How to go potty...like he doesn't already know that. Every time I smell something foul I ask him if he did a poopy...No poopy...poopy toot! Thanks for trying to pull a fast one son, but the fact of the matter is that my senses have betrayed you.

The thing that kept running through my mind as I sat on the floor trying to convince Grant to stay put on the pot was that potty training is actually not done for the child at all. It's the parent being trained to look for the signs that force them to drop everything, pick up a buck naked child and run half way through the house to make it to the bathroom to just sit there for another 20 minutes. Yes, that was the scenario at my house yesterday.

I decided to put Grant on the port-a-pot in front of the television to watch a short video about going potty. I was teaching piano in one room while Nathan was just outside in the yard watering when Grant went potty on the pot for the first time. And the only one who shared in his glorious moment was his big sister. I walked out of the piano lesson for a minute to grab something and I looked up to find Madeline standing, just waiting to burst. Guess what Grant did, Mom? HE WENT POTTY!!!! She could hardly contain herself, it was so adorably cute!

Today he sat down several times but nothing came out. Maddie offered him some valuable advice I told him that if he pinches his penis it will come out. He took the advice but to no avail. He just appreciated her willingness to help because to him, she must know what she's talking about since she's the big sister.

picnic dinner

We made sandwiches and other goodies, loaded up the kids and enjoyed a relaxing dinner at the park. It's funny when we put all the kids in the swings. There are four swings across...three of the swings are occupied by our kids.

Evan just smiles, drools and giggles while swinging. He's starting to crawl backwards, and today he tumbled right out of his pod chair and landed on all fours - apparently he's tired of being immobile.

Grant is becoming more adventurous, climbing and doing more tricks. He takes Nathan by the hand to help him on the monkey bars and to help him slide down the fireman pole!

Madeline is really beginning to mature...It's good to watch her do new things but hard to watch her grow up. She said I wish I had some friends to play with at the park. I responded with We're your friends...don't you want to play with us?

Apparently not.

But it's a good thing. She went up to a little girl and asked Will you be my friend? They ran and played together and then initiated another girl to join their play group. Makes me smile to see her growing in confidence and willingness to branch out.

It's hard to come home because of course, nobody wants to take showers and go to bed. But it still ended nicely. Evan fell asleep first with his nook in his mouth, cuddling Spotty, his blankie. Grant and Nathan read books in his rocking chair, while Madeline and I enjoyed her books rocking outside on the front porch.

Before bed we prayed together. I confessed my sin of yelling at her today. She whispered in my ear Can you ask Jesus to help me to stop whining? Funny that she thinks I have extra pull with the Lord. I hope she'll continue to reach out to Him in her own childlike way.

catching up

My college friend Danica (and college roommate for a time) and I were able to meet up today and play catch up on each other's lives from the last 15 months that we haven't been so good at keeping up. Every time I leave one of our visits, I remember how important friendship is. How important it is to have lifelong friends whom we can pick up where we left off, even when months and sometimes even years have passed without a word simply because life gets too busy. But she is a friend that I can laugh with and at the same time, share from the deepest parts of my soul with. And I may not see her again for several weeks or months. But then we'll just pick up again where we left off.

More than that, I'm so honored to be called her friend. I've always looked up to her wit, charm and passion for life. She has unknowingly inspired me to reach higher and work harder, even when our lives have gone different directions. She has respected my path while passionately pursuing hers.

I never knew that when I signed up for that Russia missions trip my freshman year at Biola that I would meet a lifelong friend.

wow!

Nathan and I attended our first CHEA Conference today. It was wonderful. It was overwhelming. It was awe inspiring. I was amazed at the curriculum focused on instilling virtues and reviewing our Christian heritage, as well as our Christian brothers and sisters who have been missionaries before us, and the numerous ways these different homeschooling organizations work in different ways to do one thing: to educate our children at home to instill our Christian values. Not the current so-called Christian values of I call myself a Christian, I might even go to church, but I do whatever I want. I follow my own gospel. This was convicting as I talked with people who desire to LIVE out their faith in every aspect of their lives, homeschooling being no exception. It's only one tiny piece of the puzzle. But it is a wonderful piece. We're only going to commit to one year of light homeschooling - just getting a feel for it by doing some Preschool/Kindergarten assignments and exercises. We'll see how it goes. The public school system is not criticized at all. That's not the point. The point is that we have an opportunity to provide a different education, one that is completely compatible with the Bible and the difficult lives Christ has called us to.

I feel challenged to go much deeper in my faith and life as a follower of Christ. I want to include my family in this venture.

wicked!

Nathan treated me to a wonderful date on this special night. We went to see Wicked at the Pantages Theatre. We left the kids at home, rushed out the door and I started to rant when we hit the Glendale freeway and the on-ramp was closed. We got the second to last parking spot in the lot next to the theatre and literally ran! We sat down in our seats (which were perfect) and breathed a sigh of relief, actually a few sighs. And within about two minutes the show began. I love going to the theatre, but going on a date with my husband, all dressed up and walking hand in hand, is what gives me butterflies.

ups and downs

I realized yesterday that I put too much pressure on myself to be even keel all the time. I don't want the kids to see me having bad days. I don't like the way I respond and act when I feel down. But someone pointed out to me that that isn't real life. Being even keel all the time doesn't teach them about real emotions and how to work through them. Ups and downs are normal. Experiencing a range of emotions is healthy. Telling my kids mommy is feeling yucky today...I need some space is healthy. It sets boundaries and gives them permission to feel yucky too.

happy birthday, america!

We had a leisurely morning on the 4th, and the kids took a 4-hour nap - all of them - at the same time. I was amazed. Of course I'm finding that Evan is only taking one nap per day lately. Yes, but it's better for him to take one long nap with his siblings so that I can have a little down time.

Anyway, we went to Auntie and Uncle Steve's, swam in their pool, ate steak and hot dogs, and watched fireworks. In fact, Grant decided that he wanted to do sparklers, and more sparklers and more sparklers. It was a fun day. Very memorable indeed.

camping buddies

On Thursday night, Nathan and the kids camped out in our backyard and made s'mores...what a dad!

mad rush

Madeline had a birthday party this morning. I thought it was next week. In addition to all of us having colds for the last week, I got my dates mixed up.

So in a mad rush, I get the kids dressed, teeth brushed, and run Evan over to Aunt Jan's to make the trip faster (thank the Lord she was available!). We run into Target, walk around in circles because we don't have a clue what to buy, we finally pick a cute item and then make another mad dash out to the car, and I drive with heavy guilt knowing I'm a lead-foot. Everyone is quiet in the car.

I think to myself Why do I do this? Why am I so disorganized? Why do I wait until the last minute and then put the family through such chaos? It's not worth it.

I park the car, step on the parking brake, get Maddie out and of course she wants me to untie her scarf and put it into her backpack, we run in, I run back out to Grant. I realize that I forgot to kiss her good-bye. I drive away sad, wondering how I've gotten to this point.

How do I even begin to change?

feminists for life

Read here about what Patricia Heaton is doing to spread this pro-life message.

Evan's 6 month check-up

He's actually seven months now, but I just forgot to schedule it on time? I don't know...don't remember how that happened.

He's doing well - growing normally. Actually, he's a beast. He weighed in at 19 lbs. 10 oz, and 27 1/2 inches long. He's in the 75th percentile.

I watch his eyes follow everything that Madeline and Grant do, and now he wants what they hold in their hands. They walk by and he quickly reaches out - sometimes he does the death grip on their hair, faces, toys. Grant gets so offended No, Baby! he says with great conviction. But watch out big brother and big sister, the baby is going to be taking over only in a matter of time.

different perspective

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

We attend a home group on Sunday nights. We have formed wonderful friendships. This is the book we've been reading for the last several weeks. Here is an excerpt. It was hard to just choose one...this book is rich with wisdom and conviction.

A difficult marriage does not pronounce a death sentence on a meaningful life. It presents several challenges, to be sure, but it also provides wonderful opportunities for spiritual growth. Look at your marriage through this lens--What am I learning? How is this causing me to grow? What is this doing for me from an eternal perspective?--and see if it doesn't lighten the load, at least somewhat. More important, contrast how your marriage draws you closer to God and shapes you in the character of Jesus Christ with how closely it draws you to the elusive state of carefree happiness. (p.152)

potty training...

...according to my 2 year old.

Nathan brought down the training potty last week. It's been sitting in our bathroom for a week. Nathan wants to start training him in August, when he's home for a few weeks. Grant just looks at it, laughs at it, stands on it, lifts up the seat, sits down on it with all his clothes on. We also have the little seat that goes on top of the big potty that is cushioned. Grant likes putting that around his neck, and then cries because it gets stuck and he can't figure out how to get it off.

So yesterday before his nap, Grant tells me he has to go potty. So I take off his diaper and sit him down. I'm thinking Wow...he's really ready.

Grant, on the other hand, had a different idea of potty training. He thought it meant I get to sit here and play with my pee-pee and laugh while mommy stares at me, not knowing what to do next. He almost convinced me he still had to go, but I had already fallen for that trick once. The diaper went back on.

I realized that Madeline never did anything that because, well, she's not a boy with a toy.

Daddy's turn.

night time rituals

Every night, Nathan and I divide and conquer. Nathan takes Grant into his room where they read books before bed, and I take Madeline and read her books while I nurse Evan. It works. Tonight was no exception. Almost every night I long to have a turn with Grant. Mostly because he calls for me and I'm not able to just sit at bedtime. Nap time is our special reading time together, but it still pulls at my heart strings when he calls for me. I know that this is only for a season. He will soon be in a big boy bed, asking me to lay down with him while he falls asleep. Tonight he called me into his room and said Mommy, wuvies which means he wants me to pick him up out of his bed. While I hugged and put him back in the crib, he smiled up at me and said back! That means he wants me to rub his back, but what he does is lie down on his back and waits for me to rub his belly. He smiles and then says Nite Mommy.

seven months already

Seven months of holding you, singing to you, laughing with you, hearing you laugh, smiling together, watching you follow your big brother and sister with your big blue eyes, feeding you, kissing you, hugging you, sharing you with others, celebrating your sweet life. Today you giggled when I whispered silly mommy sounds into your ear. Just looking at you makes me smile. I look forward to each moment with you, even your sick days and nights where you're so mixed up with green boogies and you forget that night time means sleep time, not play time. I just want to eat you all up!

ole!

Early this spring I read from a list of different community classes Madeline could take, asking her which one she wanted to do in the summer. Ballet, tap, gymnastics, spanish language, or spanish dance class with mommy. The description said it was a beginner class, ages 3 and up. She chose the spanish dance class, knowing we could have special time together.

Last week we showed up for our first class, in our matching hawaiian dresses. I didn't care that they were green hawaiian print. My baby girl loves to match and she especially loves dresses. I just thought it would be fun.

The other fun part was when the teacher called all the students to line up and there I was...with seven other preschoolers. Apparently when it says ages 3 and up, it literally means all 3 and 4 year olds without their mothers.

It only gets better.

The teacher said we all had to be in leotards...yep, even this mommy dancer and should have spanish dance skirts and ballet slippers. So guess what I showed up in at class today? That's right - a black leotard with a black skirt (there was no way I was going to run around the room half naked in just a leotard) and black ballet slippers. Apparently I was showing such great behavior that at the end of class we were practicing a marching step and the teacher asked me if I wanted to be the leader. Yes, the 31 year old wants to be the leader.

There I was, marching in my leotard, skirt and ballet slippers, leading the preschoolers around the room. With a big smile.

It was all worth it seeing Madeline's face, knowing she was the happiest girl in that room, knowing her mommy was the half-naked leader.

Only 8 more weeks! OLE!

sweet baby

Who is this adorable baby boy? This week you proudly sat up by yourself, said "Dadadadada" even though you were looking right at me and even waved bye, bye to Gigi when I picked you up.

princesses

save the ta-tas!

Woohoo! Teseena and I trained this morning for the breast cancer walk (she's still deciding, but loves to exercise together anyway). We walked 8.5 miles in about 2 hours. (Of course we rewarded ourselves with a starbucks treat - a light frapuccino! Next Saturday we're going to do 10 miles and then get pedicures afterward (a much better reward after burning all those calories). It was so energizing. We left a little after 6am - a beautiful morning walk with a wonderful friend!! And she has this really cool watch that tracks our average speed, our distance and time which works off a satellite. I was feeling so tired last night, not wanting to get up and do this. But what a rewarding experience.

disturbing

click here...my intention is to inform, not insult.

check out the library

I took the kids to the library yesterday (on a whim) and found out that they're promoting their summer reading program for infants all the way up! Each child came home with a free book (nice ones), and they receive a prize each week when they report the amount of time they read and what they enjoyed most. What a great way to encourage learning and beat the heat (the library is always well air-conditioned)! Another great thing about libraries is that even if the younger kids aren't quite into books yet, a well stocked library has wonderful puzzles and toys to stimulate their very active brains. Story times are also fun, especially when trying to change things up in your day.

Just thought I'd pass it along...

love this book!

Nathan and I love Kevin Leman, author of many parenting (and marriage) books. We just picked up this one and it has been refreshing to be reminded that parenting doesn't have to be complicated. I'm almost finished with it and highly recommend it for anyone with children over 3. It's simple, straightforward and encourages "reality discipline." No yelling required.

soul train

We're walking through Target the other day when my children begin to sing (without any prompting from me, by the way)

Madeline starts: Play that funky music

and Grant jumps in with his deep, growly voice: white boy!

happy (early) anniversary

our anniversary is june 24...8 years of marriage...we made it through itchy year number seven.


i came home on thursday night to a clean house and these beautiful roses staring back at me - it took my breath away!

on friday afternoon, my wonderful husband surprised me with an hour massage with my favorite masseus...then he told me to dress up and surprised me with a dinner out, followed by a pit stop to cold stone's for my favorite ice cream dessert. we enjoyed a walk downtown for a nice breakfast this morning, followed by a hefty avon training walk (about 4-5 miles) around town and now he's reading on his hammock.

happy anniversary, sweetie! i love you more than you'll ever know in this lifetime.

the lie that looked like a monster

I'm not sure if this was the best way to handle this situation. I am open to any feedback about my situation.

First I want to reiterate that I believe Madeline is a wonderful 4 (and a half, she reminds me) year old girl. She has wonderful qualities that place her beyond her years. She walks around with a compassionate heart, and a desire to serve others. She is loving and thoughtful. She is my precious daughter, my only daughter. And I adore her.

On Wednesday, she told me a lie. While I knew that she was lying, I wanted her to confess to it. She wouldn't. I asked her, Madeline, this is what I saw you do. Did you do that, yes or no? Now that I'm writing it down, I feel like an idiot because if I saw her do it then of course I knew she did it. But I wanted her to own up. The lying really bothered me. So after I asked her those questions (for an hour - Nathan called me Jack Bauer), she is crying and telling me that she doesn't want to get into trouble; she asks me through her tears Is it lying if I say 'yes' or 'no'? I almost laughed.

I finally said You will not get into trouble. Just tell me the truth now!. She finally admitted her lie and just sobbed in my arms. I held her and then took some time for myself to decide what to do next. I can either be so harsh on her that she will continue to lie or I can try to make this more of a learning experience so that she will understand why it's not okay to lie.

I told her that she wouldn't get into trouble for telling me the truth, so I told her that instead of being in trouble she would just have a consequence (same thing, I know, but she doesn't realize that yet). So her consequence was that since something unkind came out of her mouth, her mouth would not enjoy any treats for 2 days. She accepted that.

Then I told her that she would have to do some homework. Oh, I just love homework, she gushed. Great. Take your drawing book and draw a picture of how you feel when you lie. Now draw a picture of how Jesus feels when you lie. How Mommy and Daddy feel when you lie. What a lie looks like when it comes out of your mouth - does it look like a pretty flower or an ugly monster?

Mom, I'm tired of doing homework. Yes Madeline, but when we lie, we must do our lying homework.

Fast forward to this morning, when her consequence is now over.

Mom, can I have treats again? Yes, Madeline. Tell me what you learned. Lying isn't good.

I don't know how she will proceed in future situations. I explained to her on Wednesday that when she disobeys, she will have a consequence. And then if she lies on top of that, she will be in big trouble.

I don't know what triggered such anger, anxiety and frustration with her lie. I guess I felt disappointed that she fought so hard to hold onto her sin. Something I struggle with every day of my life. It somehow feels more frustrating when I try to save her from her own sin. But she has to learn in her own way and with her own choices. I just PRAY that the Lord will give me wisdom. I don't want to beat her over the head when she makes a mistake. Yet I don't want to let her off the hook too easily.

Sin is not a joke. I take my job very seriously.

good times

Good times - those days when you have more fun than you thought could be possible; the moments you want to cherish in your heart forever.

Today we went to spend the day with Heather, Zeke and baby Zane. We had a blast. Five children and only two adults. The kids haven't realized that they are able to overtake us if they want to. We swam in the pool, the kids napped (for 2 hours - wow!), we had some wonderful mommy/friend time visiting and catching up, and had more pool time followed by pizza, putting on jammies and driving home.

This was the first time that Madeline and Grant swam with me so freely, without fear. Madeline even went into the deep end with her pink floaties carrying her along. Grant was asking me to let go of him so he could kick his feet and swim by himself with his little life vest on. And Zeke was so proud to do his "Cowabonga" jump and splashes! Evan wanted to be right in the pool with us, splashing and watching the action.

What a wonderful day. Crazy moments and all.

playing catch up

So much has happened...I can't believe it's been two weeks since my last post.




Madeline & Grant helped Nathan replace, sandpaper and prime part of our fence....I can already hear Papa asking, "Aren't there child labor laws?"




We celebrated Evan's 1/2 birthday with enchiladas and chocolate cake (Poor Evan could only smell the yummy food...)!!



And one of my favorite memories this week was when I got dressed up to have a dinner date with Nathan and some friends, and when Madeline saw me coming she said, "MOM! You look dashing!!" That was one of the nicest things I've ever heard.

More to come....I'm still training for the breast cancer walk - thank you to ALL of my donors - I'm overwhelmed by your generosity!

baby evan photo shoot

My sweet friend Teseena LOVES taking pictures...of her babies' bodies. She has been inviting me to come over and let her take pictures of Evan's sweet little rolls! I had so much fun watching her get down to take the pictures at his level and capturing his sweetness.

Thanks for loving my baby so much - and for being such a wonderful friend and support!

Click here to see her cute work!