Here and Now

I realized this morning that I want to enjoy every moment with Madeline, whether difficult or delightful. I know that this may not be realistic all the time, but I don't want my own feelings of tiredness or irritability to get in the way of experiencing her in the moment. Nor do I want my concerns for the future or regrets from the past to interfere with the joy I have in spending every day with her. She looks at me and her eyes light up. She gives me "lovies" when I need them most. She watches and learns from me, and I want her to know that I love her beyond words. I want to enjoy her every moment, remembering how excited I was to bring her home from the hospital and how excited I am every morning to wake up and see her smiling face, hearing her soft voice say, "Good morning, Mommy."