all dressed up

And so many places to go and things to do! You are just as colorful, spunky and vivacious as this beautiful outfit you put together on your own - two thumbs up from mom! I couldn't be more proud.

I wonder what you will be like as a teenager and as an adult. I sense that you really want to experience and enjoy life, although I wonder if my fears somehow hold you back because you hesitate when I'm around.

I'm happy to hear that you are blossoming at school, making new friends and exploring the new world around you. It's hard for me to imagine not spending every moment with you, but I think it helps us both to enjoy the adventures we create together even more. When I pick you up from school, you give me all the dirt on the kids in your class. We pray for all the bullies and mean kids on the way to school, and one day in the middle of the prayer you reminded me to pray for God to give your teachers "wisdom."

Just last week, in fact, you showed off some of your "spunk" when we were in line to get into Disneyland and you decided to "moon" the crowd. Yes...the only reason I knew to turn around was because I heard people laughing around me and realized you were awfully quiet. You also "shook your tush-tush" as we call it to add more fun to the scene. Not embarrassed at all, just completely caught by surprise that you would even know to do something like that. You're an absolute riot! You make me smile in the most unpredictable ways. Just like when I was lecturing you last week on why we do not throw tantrums and how mean and ugly they are. And you looked at me so innocently and said, "But you throw temper tantrums, Mommy." Yes, I do sometimes....so hard to answer that one.

******

You'll be leaving to spend the weekend with your Nana and Poppy tomorrow and I can already anticipate the stories they'll be telling me when we walk in the door to pick you up.

Something that has become more difficult for me to think about is the reality that the Lord may take any one of us four from this earth too soon. Ever since you've been in my life, I've never felt so fearful of possible tragedies that can occur. So even though I hide this from you to protect you, I often wonder if this will ever be something either of us will ever have to face. And so for this reason, I want you to know that there are no words that are fit to describe the depth of love I feel for you as my daughter. You are my firstborn, my strong, beautiful, brilliant and spirited flesh and blood. Always know that even through the times that I struggle to be the best parent and I fail, that I'm learning my job is not to be perfect but to model Christlikeness. I fall way short, but I know that the Lord is using every circumstance, every word spoken and every thought to remind me that I am nothing without Him. So if there is anything I want you to take from me for your life it is this.

I don't know what I'd ever do without you. Thankfully, whatever happens, I am certain that I will spend eternity talking and laughing with you all the day long.

I love you, I love you, I love you!

I can't wait to pick you up from Nana & Poppy's house on Sunday!xxxooo