Your Fifth Year

Madeline, sweet Madeline...where does the time go? I feel like such an old person uttering such words, but they come from the very depths of my heart. A couple of weeks ago we pulled out a video from when you were an 8 month old baby. The memories came flooding back and as you sat and watched yourself in awe you said, I was such a cute baby! You can say that again!

You just turned five and now you're already asking me, When am I going to be 5 and a half? And then you let me know so proudly, After I'm 5 and a half, I'm going to be 6! And I feel sad sometimes, not because I don't want you to grow up, but because I hope that every day you are in my care that you know just how much I love you.

Here are some of the wonderful things I remember from this year and I want to keep them as buried treasures in my heart. One day you will read this and know just what you were like as a 4-almost-five-year-old little girl.

Last September, I was 7 months pregnant with Evan. You were attending your second year of preschool and not so sure about it sometimes. You liked your teachers but you would come home every day telling me about someone who was not kind to you. I asked you to also share the good moments...you did, reluctantly. I think you really wanted me to know how much you hated preschool OR just how much you really missed being at home with me. I missed you too, but hoped that the time away with other kids would be good for you.

One of my favorite memories from last October was when we had a baby shower for Evan. You were so excited to open up every gift, knowing it would be for the new baby. I remember my heart being so warmed by your sweet excitement and anticipation of this new little life.

The following weekend we spent in Newport with the Kirk's and Koppel's remembering Grandma Ruby. It was a relaxing, fun and memorable time for all of us.

Then, Halloween came. It was the first Halloween we actually teamed up your costume with Grant's...you wanted to be Belle so we went with a Beauty and the Beast theme. Grant was not thrilled with his costume, but he LOVED the chocolate. You were a great trick-or-treat mentor to him, leading him to each door to knock and ask for more. While he continued to drive you crazy as a little brother, this was the year I watched you begin to realize that he loves you and that you enjoy his company.

As my belly grew bigger, you asked me if I was going to have 10 babies. No, but we finally welcomed your baby brother Evan. You were bursting with excitement and anticipation over this new baby that would be arriving. Of course you thought you would be welcoming a baby sister, because when I called you from the hospital to tell you he was born, you said with hardly any enthusiasm, Another brother? Yes, but I don't think you realized how much you would come to love this little baby. All you wanted to do was hold him, yes, carry him around the house like he was a cat. And I let you (with much supervision, of course). You were only 2 when Grant was born, and while you liked him, your dolls and other toys were much more interesting. But with Evan, you realized how much more you wanted to be part of this little baby's life.

You have been such a big help to me in this great big year of change and transition. You have shared your room with your baby brother. There were some mornings when I couldn't open my eyes and you happily gave the baby his nook and then would run into Grant's room and throw toys into his crib. You would proudly tell strangers how you work, work, worked all the time and babysat your brothers all by yourself so your mommy could rest. You should have seen the looks I got!

Then the next several months are sort of a blur. Every day has been busy, busy, busy and very unpredictable. This year I have watched you change from a little girl to a much bigger girl, who wants to be more independent and asks deeper questions and wants to have a better understanding of the world we live in.

I have enjoyed your asking to hear the same Bible stories over and over again. I pray that they take deep root in your heart and that you will walk with him, side by side, all the days of your sweet life.

You are five now, and your life consists of playing with dolls, dressing up in princess clothes, picking out your own clothes, singing Red River Valley, calling family on the phone and leaving hilarious messages, wanting to plan a sleepover with Makayla, learning to read and write, telling me about your imaginary husbands (yes, plural), telling me which Disney princess is your favorite today and why (ie., Snow White is so much prettier than Sleeping Beauty), giggling uncontrollably when you use potty talk (ie., Mommy, I told Grant to say pee-pee and poo-poo...hee-hee-hee!), telling me to rest and you'll clean up for me, and I'll add more details as they come.

For now, thank you for a wonderful five years with you. Never, never forget that you are a gift from the Lord. He made you to be mine, for us to be connected forever both here on earth and in eternity.