03 July 2008

mad rush

Madeline had a birthday party this morning. I thought it was next week. In addition to all of us having colds for the last week, I got my dates mixed up.

So in a mad rush, I get the kids dressed, teeth brushed, and run Evan over to Aunt Jan's to make the trip faster (thank the Lord she was available!). We run into Target, walk around in circles because we don't have a clue what to buy, we finally pick a cute item and then make another mad dash out to the car, and I drive with heavy guilt knowing I'm a lead-foot. Everyone is quiet in the car.

I think to myself Why do I do this? Why am I so disorganized? Why do I wait until the last minute and then put the family through such chaos? It's not worth it.

I park the car, step on the parking brake, get Maddie out and of course she wants me to untie her scarf and put it into her backpack, we run in, I run back out to Grant. I realize that I forgot to kiss her good-bye. I drive away sad, wondering how I've gotten to this point.

How do I even begin to change?

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