22 May 2008

if mama ain't happy...

I don't know why I sometimes get a bad case of the grumpies. Nathan says nothing is wrong with me, I just need some down time. But when I finally get some free time, I usually end up cleaning, putting laundry away, or some other task that I have gotten behind on. I've been struggling with just feeling down.

Why do I feel down some days even though I'm doing exactly what I've always wanted to do?

I look at my kids and I just love them to pieces. But I sometimes let my moods dictate our moments and pretty soon I realize that DAYS have passed and I'm still in a funk. Am I stuck as a moody person? Can I pray myself out of it?

At least one of our children has been waking up each night for the last couple of weeks. I'm exhausted. So when I laid down to take a nap the other day and Maddie came in and woke me up to tell me she had to go "poo-poo" I was a teeny-tiny bit frustrated. I tried to keep myself in control and told her she needed to just take care of business on her own and to please quietly go back to her room while I rested.

Later, I apologized for yelling at her. She quickly looked up at me and said, You didn't yell at me! You just used a little bit grouchy voice. And I prayed for you. I asked Jesus to help you not to be mean.

Grace is a wonderful thing. So is compassion...especially coming from my 4 year old.

Lord, please live through me. I can't do this alone. Please take away my grumpies.

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